Part of me is still in amazement that two days ago (already!) I hit the 39 week mark.
And part of me is growing ridiculously anxious to meet this kid. But not for the reasons you might think. I don’t ever recall hitting the “I’m done” phase in my first pregnancy, and with only 5 days left until my due date — I feel pretty confident that the same will hold true this time around. I know, I know — that’s probably pretty annoying for most pregnant women to hear. But remember? I’m a pregnancy champ ;)
But even still, 10 months is a long time to know someone and never get to see their face. It’s a long time to love someone but never get to kiss their cheeks + tiny hands.
And it’s an even longer time to put up with some of their gymnast shenanigans and not at least get to tickle their feet for revenge. ;)
I had my first “internal check” at 37 weeks and got nothing. I learned that week that I still had a lot of subconscious expectations — and had to deal with all those in the following days of that appointment. I hadn’t gone into that appointment with the conscious expectation of seeing some progress (dilation, thinning of the cervix, etc.) — but the disappointment I felt leaving the office proved to me otherwise.
I was worried. When I hit a few days late with Wyatt, the doctors explained to me that I needed to be induced. It was what was safest for baby. And that whole decision making process was really hard for me, for a multitude of reasons. With still 3 weeks left to go this time around, I was already feeling the pressure and I was sacred. Scared I wouldn’t/won’t be able to do it the way I really wanted/want to — again. All natural.
And yes, I know there’s no trophy involved for doing it that way ;)
38 weeks showed no signs of “progress” either. This time I was a little more prepared though. I’d been experiencing another surge in appetite and an insanely itchy abdomen. I knew he was getting in at least one more growth spurt. He just wasn’t done yet ;)
39 weeks I think I actually went in with zero expectations. In the moment I was clear headed and ready to accept God’s desires instead of my own. And whadduya know? Progress. In a matter of less than 7 days I’d started dilating (1-2 cm) and effaced 70%. I believe it also helped that I saw my favorite doctor that day, but who knows. Either way he assured me that everything looked great. There was no reason to suspect that he’d be any bigger than my first baby — although I’m pretty sure he is. And that past the 40 week mark it was “up to me”, but there was no reason to believe that Thurser and I wouldn’t be fine right up to that 41 week mark. “We’ll see you back at 40 weeks, or sooner!”
My 40 week check is set for this Thursday, 2 days before the actual 40 week mark.
I feel uplifted + relieved. But at the same time, still a little unsettled.
I just keep praying. I’m so much more excited this time around. Less nervous, etc. I guess those are the perks of the second time around, huh? I just keep praying that I focus on that :)
So there it is: I wait until then. And in my brain there’s no “decision” to be made until that day. That gives me clarity. That provides me with a better sense of focus.
I got this. Thurser, has got this. And most importantly — God has got this.
Friends. We all know I’m not a patient person! Haha! #waitingonthurser
P.S. How’s that for two weeks growth? That’s right you’re looking at 37 weeks (left) vs. 39 weeks (right) baby.
In the words of my Crossfit junkie friends… #gainz :)