Nick and I bought and moved into our house around Thanksgiving of last year. Black Friday to be exact. It’s a huge old farmhouse and although there are countless reasons we decided it was the perfect place to raise our family: chunky moldings, high ceilings, giant kitchen, expansive back field, massive old barn and mature wooded lot were among that ever growing list of things we absolutely love about our home.
But most importantly, it is where we could without a doubt envision our “master plan” being realized. Nick and I have said on numerous occasions that if we could do anything we wanted we would probably both quit our jobs and become a “farmer” and “farmer’s wife” full time. We would spend our days in the garden, in the barns, in the fields and woods. Canning until our fingers were pruned from steam and never able to fully get all the dirt from out beneath our fingernails. We both get a high off of working with our hands and a good overall body ache at the end of the day. It means we’ve done something. Some that actually matters.
“Operation Blanton Farm” as I’ve chosen to call it, in reality has already hit the ground running. But our “to do” list is growing at such a rapid rate that sometimes it makes mine and Nick’s head spin. It’s hard sometimes not to feel overwhelmed when we still have boxes to unpack, mail to open, laundry to wash, a garden to plant, grass to mow, a roof to fix, electric to rewire, a barn falling down, jobs to show up for and a little guy who wants to be a part of it all. And the list goes on.
Of course we attempt the divide and conquer method all along– which usually means that Nick gets in the thick of things and I flirt at the cusp of it all with a baby on my hip. It’s the natural order. I am a mommy. I have been most of my life, just not with a baby of my own. I feel like most of the time I thrive in this role. It’s what I’ve been looking forward to for most of my life as well. But right now I feel like it’s been awhile since I’ve got my hands dirty with something other than dish water and baby food. Since I’ve been the forerunner on one of our projects. And I feel like my body is aching in a different way than it ever has. It makes me frustrated to feel this way for multiple reasons, but even as I flesh it out now I realize that this is the paradox of mommyhood — or maybe just the great balancing act of life in general.
Thankfully I have my patient and loving husband — and family and friends that surround me. And the good Lord to renew and fill my spirit when I get weighed with the to do lists of this world.
I’m not really sure if there is a takeaway for you here, other than the fact that maybe you’re not alone.
Never the less: Operation Blanton Farm soldiers on!